Knee-Deep in Feces

This year's Majales in Hradec was awesome. I dare to say it was one of the highlights of the year for me. That's why you might find it a bit odd that ever since then I feel like I'm up excrement creek without a damn paddle. Confused? Let me elaborate.

I wasn't exactly looking forward to this event at first, as shortly after I bought myself a ticket the weather forecast told me it would rain on the day of the festival. (And rain it did, though it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be.) Just thinking about it, the whole thing seemed to be the exact opposite of the last year's Majales. See, unlike last year, the sun was playing hide and seek with the clouds for most of the last Friday. Funnily enough, I enjoyed it much more in the end than I did last year but I'll get to that later. 

We arrived some time after the party had started and it sure didn't take long for those clouds to start raining on our parade. Luckily, I went prepared. Or so I thought. I brought this umbrella with me that was… well, it was an ordinary umbrella, it did what it was supposed to – that is, bravely protect me from vicious rain. Except on that day the bastard let me down. When the puny droplets grew larger, I deemed it appropriate to whip out the umbrella to shield myself from the kamikaze attacks of the then obnoxiously huge raindrops. Little did I know the umbrella was missing a key piece of its opening mechanism, preventing me from opening it. "That does it!" I got furious like a bear when you poke it. I took the umbrella and smashed it against the ground, imagining it getting somehow broken into a million little pieces (it didn't). The sucker really got to me. 

However, things quickly took a turn for the better after I met a bunch of my friends who had this wild French guy with them. I don't really like the French but this guy, this guy was legendary. His name was Alex. He was funny as hell and he just wouldn't stop chasing all the skirts around. I hadn't had that much fun like I had with him in a long time. Really, I was genuinely happy, happy as a clam, feeling all warm and fuzzy inside. And no, it wasn't (purely) thanks to all the alcohol I kept sending down my throat. I was having tons of fun, despite the sky having buckets full of water at the ready, pouring the water all over us occasionally. And yet, the best was still to come. 

Alex and I were casually taking a stroll to get something to eat to silence our stomachs' desperate cry for some food. It was then when I saw this beautiful girl, standing there with no one but her friend around. I felt like I was in an old movie. I just stood there, frozen in awe, as I knew that was no ordinary girl. Tall and slim, she had glossy chestnut eyes. Her long, dark hair was fluttering in a gentle spring breeze. I thought she must've fallen straight out of heaven for sure because she looked like how I'd always described my perfect woman. I had to go say hi. And what do you know, for once my eyes were not deceiving me – the girl turned out to be very nice and friendly, she laughed at my stupid jokes, we talked about a lot of things and in a matter of few minutes I fell head over heels for her. Everything felt just right. Naturally, it didn't last long. 

We were about to head for our favorite band's show and I was going to ask for her number when my bladder suddenly had this wonderful idea it'd be really funny if I had to run away to take a leak at that very moment. So I did because had I made him hold it for only a bit longer, I'd have exploded on the spot. I can't really describe what it felt like to take what was likely one of my longest, most liberating leaks in my entire life, but when I finally finished, I realized I was never going to see that girl again. There were thousands of people there. Yeah, no, it wasn't going to happen. 

As the last band played the last song of the night, everyone around me was cheering, savoring the last moments of that amazing night. And me? I was all alone in the middle of a crowd of dancing silhouettes, thinking of that one girl I'd have probably gone on to marry one fine day. For all I knew, she could've been standing a few meters away from me at that time. Though the chance of bumping into her once more was as low as if she were somewhere on the other side of the world.