I Have a Dream (Do I?)

I have a dream... Nah, I'm not going to bullsh*t you people, okay. I don't have a dream. I'm simply not that kind of guy. At least not anymore.

Like most kids, I had all sorts of wild dreams when I was little. I dreamed of going to space, I wanted to be a cop and protect people. Heck, I even thought being a trashman would be something amazing (boy, was I silly back then). It's actually not that long ago when I still had these, you could say naïve, visions of my future – things like where I'd like to be, what I'd like to do. But the truth is, there were moments in my life when I got a little scared of not being able to tell what the future holds or what it will bring. I then realized having dreams doesn't quite go hand in hand with my personality, so I abandoned them.

Me giving up dreams doesn't mean I'll discourage yours, contrary to what the quote "Those who abandon their dreams will discourage yours" says. I believe it's great when people have dreams. It's what drives them forward no matter how ridiculous those dreams may seem to be. Though, like I've mentioned countless times before, I live in the moment, not in the future. And having dreams is basically thinking about the future. Or am I just wrong?

Describing a Picture: 101st Airborne Bazooka Team

 

All right, I'll be honest with you. I had no idea what picture I should pick to describe. The reason is that I hate describing pictures. What's more, I have this feeling I suck at it. But since I obviously had to pick something, and because World War 2 warfare (specifically the airborne operations) is among the few of my interests, I chose this picture of two men reenacting a US paratrooper bazooka team of the famous 101^st Airborne Division.

The guys are kneeling in a shell scrape – a shallow military earthwork deep enough for a soldier to lie in. Like I already mentioned, these soldiers, or paratroopers, form a bazooka team. For anyone who never heard of what bazooka is, it's the long tube on the left guy's right shoulder. Seeing as the paratrooper on the right is loading a rocket into the bazooka, it's safe to assume there's enemy armor heading their way. It's a good thing they have more than one rocket – notice the bag with rocket tubes on the left.

While the bazooka team's main purpose is to fight off armored vehicles, they still have to be able to defend themselves from enemy infantry. That's what the two rifles in their position are for. The bazooka operator usually carried an M1 Carbine with a folding stock which we can see leaning against the wall of the shell scrape to the operator's right. An M1 Garand semi-automatic rifle, which presumably belongs to the loader, can be seen in the bottom right corner, albeit only partially.

Hopefully I didn't deviate too much from what we were assigned and this can still be considered as a picture description. Now that I think of it, I might have chosen this picture because paratroopers played a major role in D-Day operations on June 6, 1944, of which it will be the 70^th anniversary this year.

"Huh..?"

Such was my initial reaction when I got a call from the university's study department last week. The young lady on the phone told me I needed to put my bank account number in STAG as apparently, much to my surprise, I'm eligible for some kind of a scholarship. I say "some kind" because I was thrown off by the content of the call, considering I spend very little time on school preparation. Of course, being OCD as I am, it was bugging me till I got to check it out later.

Turns out they give this scholarship to students who did well on their entrance exam. An exam – oh I'm going to get a lot of flak for this – I spent absolutely no time preparing for. An exam – more flak incoming – I found ridiculously easy. (This doesn't mean I scored 100/100 – I didn't.) What makes this really funny is the fact that I'm being awarded for doing basically nothing. Just coming in there, taking the test and that was it. In the end I don't even feel like deserving it.

I'd like to clarify something before I forget: You might think otherwise after reading this blog entry, but I don't think of myself as a genius or a whizz-kid of any sort. Not at all. It's because I'm not. If anything, I'm more of a lucky bastard. Yeah, I'm pretty much that. And I revel in the irony that is my life. However, that is a post for another time.

Anyway, there are people who don't like me (duh). My guess is they don't like me for a whole lot of reasons. One of which is most likely my luck when it comes to passing exams. But wouldn't it be something if the university gave me a merit scholarship on top of this one? That would surely earn a big "huh!?" from me, as well as annoyed faces from probably quite a few people now. Huh.

I Couldn't Live Without...

Water. Food. Oxygen. Given most people aren't capable of living without those, it might strike you as kind of obvious stuff (which it is). But let's put such things aside, as there actually is one thing I (figuratively) can't live without. And that thing is - drumroll, please - music! Yeah, that's right. Can't see myself going through life without a (virtually infinite) number of combinations of melody, rhythm, tempo and all the components that comprise music - no way, no how.

I think I may have mentioned it in one of my previous posts already, but I'll mention it nevertheless: music is my religion. It's what kept me from going mad (more than I already am anyway) on several occasions in the past and I believe it will continue to keep me sane for quite some time in the future.

I don't know what the world - or my world at least - would be like without music. As a matter of fact, I can't imagine any kind of a world in which people didn't stumble upon the beauty of musical instruments and the things one can achieve with a guitar, drums and a piano. I sure can tell you, though, that my life would never be complete without music, and to complete the title of this post, that is the one thing I couldn't (figuratively) live without.

My Priorities

Priorities, huh. Now that's a tough one. To be perfectly honest, when it comes to priorities – at least the long term ones, like those that go way into the future - I don't think I've ever in my entire life prioritized anything. I guess I am more of a "tackle them problems as they come, one by one" kind of guy, if that even makes sense. What I basically mean by that is that I try not to get distracted too much by what the future holds.

Some people might say one of their priorities in life is school and how it's really important for you to study well and successfully finish school. Well, that's cute, but everyone knows that if you want to make it big, you don't have to get your hands on a diploma. Sure, it can help, but more often than not it just doesn't. So no, if it isn't obvious already, I don't think about school as a priority. It's great if you manage to graduate for sure, but it's not the end of the world if you drop out. (Not that I don't intend on graduating.)

Never thought of a job as a priority either. Hell, I still don't even know what I want to do yet.

Family? Give me a break! I still consider myself a kid, why would I want kids of my own? 

I only prioritize 'on the go' – that is, if something needs to be done at a given time, I make it my priority, get it done and move on. I don't care about future much, so why make it and things largely connected with it a priority?